I agree that a society that marginalizes the women impoverishes the children. Today, it is almost necessary for women to work outside of the home to help generate adequate income for a decent standard of living. As a result, working mothers have to make agonizing choices of whether choosing their careers or spending valuable time with their children. As a mother it is heart breaking that we are expected to be wonder women because those second and third roles that we take on as caregivers and homemakers are not considered real jobs.
However, we have come to realize that attempting to live to those expectations have enriched our pocket books but impoverished our good quality of family life. When our work requires more of us, we fail our family, the home and most importantly our children. We miss time with our children that we can never get back. We miss the opportunities to build a bond and trusting relationship. The need to provide for the family in every aspect is stressful, exhausting, and can take a toll on mom and dad because we are always in a hurry from here to there. As a working parent there are always a ton of things to do and not enough time to do them all making it difficult to find a balance between work and home.
In order to be able to find a balance, it’s almost necessary that is flexible so that a parent can fulfill the parental and professional obligations effectively because without that flexibility chances are we are going to be much too exhausted to spend any such quality time with our children when we come home. In some instances it will require that working parents make sacrifices such as taking opposite shifts or working less thus resulting in lesser income. The most difficult decision that parents have had to make is to leave the work force and become a full-time caregiver and homemaker because the employer sector does not offer the flexibility to women.
Realistically, the U.S. does not address working parents’ concerns and therefore our overall quality of life has suffered. At work, we are expected to leave our home issues at home and the opposite when we are away from the work place but that is far from realistic. Because the traditional gender roles continue to be reinforced in the media, women continue to feel the pressure to make everything work.
Employers in the United States should probably look at the policies of caregivers developed and implemented in the U.K. because they have found that the flexibility their companies offer to their employees boost morale, production, and loyalty in the work place. What employer doesn’t want a loyal, hardworking and trustworthy employee? If they want them, why aren’t they working with their employees to meet their needs? If there are 54 million adult caregivers in the country now, that number is only likely to increase with the retiring baby boomers.
It’s unfair to women that it is only us that often have to make those sacrifices because the men are making significantly more than women in the same positions. If there was equality in pay, we would probably see more stay at home dads and this is where Corporate America is failing women thus pushing them out of the workforce making it much more difficult for them to make headway and compete with the men.
In addition to flexibility in the workplace, it is important to have the support from family, friends, neighbors and the community because caring for our children and our parents can potentially take a toll on oneself when attempting to do it alone. If we are unable to care for ourselves, we cannot expect to care for others effectively and not only will we fail others but ourselves as well and the end result may be very disappointing. It’s important to take time off away from the full-time job both at work and at home to regain perspective and be able to recharge and do it all over again.
If we want achieve satisfaction and achieve a good quality family life, we have to be there with our family to help raise our children, to care for our home and take care of what is most important. The trade off may be to give up income, opportunities to climb the corporate ladder or give up time with the children. It is obvious to me that women would much rather give up the former to ensure they spend quality time during the most important stages of our children lives. I don’t believe we should have to feel conflicted and have to feel that our job is getting in the way of our family lives but unfortunately, that is the case for many working women in society today.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Blog #3
As a child, my father was the sole bread winner and my mother the care taker. Although my mothered entered the workforce for a short period of time to help with the finances, my father did not help my mother in the home. I vividly recall him arriving home from work and mom always had a meal prepared. In addition, my mother handled all the chores of the home including during the time that she worked part-time.
Today, it is very different in my home. Both my husband and I work and we both handle the chores and the care of our children. Therefore, in essence we are both working a double shift except I have an added load of school work and during those times he does more of the housework or he hires help. I have to admit that I feel guilty not being able to fulfill my duties as expected because I am in school full-time in addition to working 40 hours a week.
As a mother, I believe it is my primary responsibility to care for our two daughters and when my parents come of age, I also believe it will be my responsibility to help care for them as they cared for me when I was a child. The policies for caretakers of the UK are admirable and should be implemented in a country such as ours. If my job offered the flexibility and the compassion that the UK offers its employees, I’m sure working parents would be less stressed. I have seen some co-workers at my place of employment suffer from debilitating anxiety and stress over their responsibilities at home as care givers for their elderly parents and that partially is due to inadequate support at home and in the work place.
Truthfully, it is a win-win situation if the employer offers the necessary support and flexibility because the result is employees are loyal and more productive. With that notion, society needs to acknowledge that women have taken an unpaid second and third shift because not only are we expected to do it but we have been raised to believe that it is our responsibility and our job. We need to redefine the assignments in the home and it doesn’t necessarily mean that men and women should trade roles but we need to help each other with the different roles. Because there are more and more working parents outside of the home, the reality is that we cannot do it all and until the societal expectations change, we will continue to live with increased anxiety, stress and dissatisfaction both at home and in the workplace.
Today, it is very different in my home. Both my husband and I work and we both handle the chores and the care of our children. Therefore, in essence we are both working a double shift except I have an added load of school work and during those times he does more of the housework or he hires help. I have to admit that I feel guilty not being able to fulfill my duties as expected because I am in school full-time in addition to working 40 hours a week.
As a mother, I believe it is my primary responsibility to care for our two daughters and when my parents come of age, I also believe it will be my responsibility to help care for them as they cared for me when I was a child. The policies for caretakers of the UK are admirable and should be implemented in a country such as ours. If my job offered the flexibility and the compassion that the UK offers its employees, I’m sure working parents would be less stressed. I have seen some co-workers at my place of employment suffer from debilitating anxiety and stress over their responsibilities at home as care givers for their elderly parents and that partially is due to inadequate support at home and in the work place.
Truthfully, it is a win-win situation if the employer offers the necessary support and flexibility because the result is employees are loyal and more productive. With that notion, society needs to acknowledge that women have taken an unpaid second and third shift because not only are we expected to do it but we have been raised to believe that it is our responsibility and our job. We need to redefine the assignments in the home and it doesn’t necessarily mean that men and women should trade roles but we need to help each other with the different roles. Because there are more and more working parents outside of the home, the reality is that we cannot do it all and until the societal expectations change, we will continue to live with increased anxiety, stress and dissatisfaction both at home and in the workplace.
Blog #2
Sex segregation continues to exist because the number of females employed in the non-traditional female positions is widely disproportionate. For example, when we think of architects, engineers, pilots, scientists, and the like the first mental picture is that of a white middle-aged male. The question is WHY? Why are we as women staying away from this fields that are concentrated in math and science? That could easily be explained by the stereotypical images that we see over and over again through the media and the repeated message suddenly become reality because we see a trend of absent women in male dominated professions. ASU is an affirmative action employer thus they claim to not discriminate on the basis of race, color, gender, religion, etc., however in a survey conducted in 2006 by the Commission of the Status for Women and Faculty Women’s Association they found that male professors were more satisfied than female professors. Furthermore, women reported having less mentoring and less opportunities for promotion. One category where they reported more of than men was having experienced inappropriate behavior towards them. Although this is difficult to digest, as women we continue to be regarded as less capable because the gender roles that we repeatedly see embedded in our culture reinforce the notion that women are more nurturing and therefore we are best suited for jobs in elementary school teaching, social work, nursing, and of course homemaking and caretaking.
As a mother I do regard myself as a phenomenal caretaker but I also know that I perform at my job very well. In the home where I grew up, my mother did not work but I do in my home because in order to maintain a certain lifestyle, two incomes facilitate that more so than one. In addition, in the work place I feel that I am autonomous, intelligent and capable of achieving my professional goals so that I am satisfied.
In reference to patriarchy, I respect my husband for being the lead bread winner of the household. He takes on the most difficult tasks at home and in addition helps me with the more “feminine” chores. He helps me with laundry, dishes, and our children. He is the absolute opposite of my father and his. My father never changed one of his children’s diapers, fed us a bottle, much less care for us on his own. My husband cares for our children while I am at work if he is off and in the evening while I’m either in class or doing homework. Because we are Christian, the bible does say the man’s position is that of the head of the household but we are also a team and therefore we make our decisions together. In cases, where the father is absent, of course it is necessary for the mother to take on that role.
As a result of the downfall of the economy we have seen more women take on the role of being the main provider of the household. According to the radio report, mothers have had to become the main breadwinners and even take on a second job to support the family because the male dominated fields suffered the largest number of layoffs. Jobs in constructions, finance, and the like left many more men than women without a job.
Ultimately, I blame the media for feeding these images to us and ourselves for buying into them. Until we change the way we think of ourselves and our roles in society, the images in the media will continue to reflect how we currently think and feel.
As a mother I do regard myself as a phenomenal caretaker but I also know that I perform at my job very well. In the home where I grew up, my mother did not work but I do in my home because in order to maintain a certain lifestyle, two incomes facilitate that more so than one. In addition, in the work place I feel that I am autonomous, intelligent and capable of achieving my professional goals so that I am satisfied.
In reference to patriarchy, I respect my husband for being the lead bread winner of the household. He takes on the most difficult tasks at home and in addition helps me with the more “feminine” chores. He helps me with laundry, dishes, and our children. He is the absolute opposite of my father and his. My father never changed one of his children’s diapers, fed us a bottle, much less care for us on his own. My husband cares for our children while I am at work if he is off and in the evening while I’m either in class or doing homework. Because we are Christian, the bible does say the man’s position is that of the head of the household but we are also a team and therefore we make our decisions together. In cases, where the father is absent, of course it is necessary for the mother to take on that role.
As a result of the downfall of the economy we have seen more women take on the role of being the main provider of the household. According to the radio report, mothers have had to become the main breadwinners and even take on a second job to support the family because the male dominated fields suffered the largest number of layoffs. Jobs in constructions, finance, and the like left many more men than women without a job.
Ultimately, I blame the media for feeding these images to us and ourselves for buying into them. Until we change the way we think of ourselves and our roles in society, the images in the media will continue to reflect how we currently think and feel.
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